Love2Read

Healthy relationships are rare these days because of the lack of trust and poor choices. Everyone told us about toxic relationships and how to spot them, but little of them know how a healthy relationship is like and how to spot a healthy partner.

What exactly makes a relationship healthy? “A great relationship is a safe place for both people to love, honor, and respect one another,” says Jennifer Howell, a leadership and relationship coach in Raleigh-Durham, North Carolina. You can communicate your wants, needs, and boundaries, as well as listen to the other person.

Here is a list of things that show if you have a healthy relationship or not.

You Don’t Feel Guilty When Spending Time Alone

The first and most important question you have to ask yourself is “Can I spend time without my partner and not feel guilty?” If the answer is yes, then you are in a healthy relationship. The fact that the two of you are together is a choice, not a necessity. If you feel guilty or lonely without your partner, there is a wide possibility that your relationship is toxic.

You Are Equal.

Nobody in your relationship “wears the pants” in the house. You both communicate and decide together everything, little or important.

You Can Be Yourselves.

If you feel like an alien or a ‘weirdo’ around your partner and can’t be yourself around them, because you feel misunderstood and disliked for who you are, usually means you are in a toxic relationship. If you love your partner, you love them for who they are and they should never pretend to be someone else, just because you don’t like the way they act, or speak, or the things your partner likes.

You Communicate Well.

I have heard people in my past saying that healthy relationships mean a lack of fights, which is far from the truth. A healthy relationship can also have fights, because we are human and that’s what we do. The difference between a toxic and a healthy relationship can be seen in the aftermaths of a fight. If you can forgive each other after talking about it and realise your part of blame in the situation, then you have a healthy relationship.

You Respect Each other.

You have good things to say about your partner, even if they are or not in the same room as you. If you or your partner call each other names when you are alone with your friends, it usually mean that you are not in a healthy relationship.

You Encourage Each Other to Go After Your Goals

“Many of us have a dream or vision for our life, and especially as we age, we want to maintain those visions,” says Howell. According to Howell, it’s okay if your dreams don’t align with one another as long as you “honor and encourage each other to achieve your goals.”

Boundaries Are Honored and Respected

A healthy relationship means you’re both on the same team. “In a healthy relationship, both parties discuss and agree upon important subjects that are meaningful to one another,” says Howell. She gives the example of budgeting for something big, like a vacation. An unsupportive partner in an unhealthy relationship doesn’t honor that goal, but they may sabotage it by trying to get you to splurge on something unnecessary. If you can talk it out with your partner and they acknowledge and understand your boundaries, that’s a good sign, notes Howell. “However, if your partner repeatedly ignores what you value, including your boundaries, that’s concerning,” she says.