Love2Read

After listening a podcast about Betty Page, I was intrigued into finding out more and more about BDSM, such a complicated, yet simple subject.

What is BDSM exactly?

BDSM is a variety of often erotic practices or roleplaying involving bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, sadomasochism, and other related interpersonal dynamics. Given the wide range of practices, some of which may be engaged in by people who do not consider themselves to be practising BDSM, inclusion in the BDSM community or subculture often is said to depend on self-identification and shared experience. The term BDSM is first recorded in a Usenet post from 1991,[1] and is interpreted as a combination of the abbreviations B/D (Bondage and Discipline), D/s (Dominance and submission), and S/M (Sadism and Masochism). BDSM is now used as a catch-all phrase covering a wide range of activities, forms of interpersonal relationships, and distinct subcultures. BDSM communities generally welcome anyone with a non-normative streak who identifies with the community; this may include cross-dressers, body modification enthusiasts, animal role-players, rubber fetishists, and others.

Now that we have found the exact definition, we get to the appealing part, we must say. There is a big and wide variety of fetishes and fantasies and there are more and more people to fulfil it.

The terms submissive and dominant are often used to distinguish these roles: the dominant partner (“dom”) takes psychological control over the submissive (“sub”). The terms top and bottom are also used; the top is the instigator of an action while the bottom is the receiver of the action. The two sets of terms are subtly different: for example, someone may choose to act as bottom to another person, for example, by being whipped, purely recreationally, without any implication of being psychologically dominated, and submissive may be ordered to massage their dominant partners. Although the bottom carries out the action and the top receives it, they have not necessarily switched roles.

Dominatrix

A dominatrix (/ˌdɒmɪˈneɪtrɪks/, plural dominatrices /-ˈneɪtrɪsiːz, -nəˈtraɪ-/) is a woman who takes the dominant role in BDSM activities. A dominatrix might be of any sexual orientation, but her orientation does not necessarily limit the genders of her submissive partners. Dominatrices are known for inflicting physical pain on their submissives, but this is not done in every case. In some instances erotic humiliation is used, such as verbal humiliation or the assignment of humiliating tasks. Dominatrices also make use of other forms of servitude. A dominatrix is typically a paid professional (pro-domme) as the term dominatrix is little-used within the non-professional BDSM scene.

The term domme is likely a coined pseudo-French feminine inflection of the slang dom (short for dominant). The use of domme, dominatrix, dom, or dominant by any woman in a dominant role is chosen mostly by personal preference and the conventions of the local BDSM scene. The term mistress or dominant mistress is sometimes also used. Female dominance (also known as female domination or femdom) is a BDSM activity in which the dominant partner is female. However, while the term mistress is often depicted in the media, members of the BDSM community often avoid it, as it has negative implications as referring to a female with which a person has an illicit affair-with (thus cheating on another partner). Since there is a large overlap between the BDSM and polyamory communities, where ethical conduct is a prime value, any hint of non-ethical conduct is highly frowned-upon.

I know that all this information might sound weird and strange for you, at first, but there are people who love these kind of activities.

A professional dominatrix or professional dominant, often referred to within the culture as a pro-dom(me), offers services encompassing the range of bondage, discipline, and dominance in exchange for money. The term dominatrix is little-used within the non-professional BDSM scene. A non-professional dominant woman is more commonly referred to simply as a domme, dominant, or femdom (short for female dominance). Professional submissives (“pro-subs”), although far more rare, do exist. A professional submissive consents to their client’s dominant behavior within negotiated limits, and often works within a professional dungeon. Most of the people who work as subs normally have tendencies towards such activities, especially when sadomasochism is involved. Males also work as professional “tops” in BDSM, and are called masters or doms. However, it is much rarer to find a male in this profession.

A non-representative survey on the sexual behaviour of American students published in 1997 and based on questionnaires had a response rate of about 8–9%. Its results showed 15% of homosexual and bisexual males, 21% of lesbian and female bisexual students, 11% of heterosexual males and 9% of female heterosexual students committed to BDSM related fantasies.[89] In all groups the level of practical BDSM experiences were around 6%. Within the group of openly lesbian and bisexual females, the quote was significantly higher, at 21%. Independent of their sexual orientation, about 12% of all questioned students, 16% of lesbians and female bisexuals and 8% of heterosexual males articulated an interest in spanking. Experience with this sexual behaviour was indicated by 30% of male heterosexuals, 33% of female bisexuals and lesbians, and 24% of the male gay and bisexual men and female heterosexual women. Even though this study was not considered representative, other surveys indicate similar dimensions in differing target groups.

Some good numbers up there. Even if it is still a taboo, it is still fascinating somehow.

A representative study done from 2001 to 2002 in Australia found that 1.8% of sexually active people (2.2% men, 1.3% women but no significant sex difference) had engaged in BDSM activity in the previous year. Of the entire sample, 1.8% of men and 1.3% of women had been involved in BDSM. BDSM activity was significantly more likely among bisexuals and homosexuals of both sexes. But among men in general, there was no relationship effect of age, education, language spoken at home or relationship status. Among women, in this study, activity was most common for those between 16 and 19 years of age and least likely for females over 50 years. Activity was also significantly more likely for women who had a regular partner they did not live with, but was not significantly related with speaking a language other than English or education.

What can we say, people are different and without being a little “crazy” the world would be boring as hell, right?